darrynek:
hello 911 yes i’d like to report a murder
this bitch killed my vibe
disneyprincest:
i go ahead and write 100s on the top of all my tests to make it easier on the grader
fatwink:
we’re not true friends until I’ve sent you a pic of my double chin
heartless:
when i was in elementary school this fucking bitch claimed that she was queen of the jungle gym and would never let anyone use it so i told her i was telling the teacher and i walked over to the teacher and pointed near her and said “isn’t the sky so pretty today” and she started crying because she thought i told and long story short i was the king of the mother fucking jungle gym
the two hardest things in the world are trying not to eat out of boredom and not taking 6 hour naps after school